Sleep: is it normal to wake up in the middle of the night?

Sleep: is it normal to wake up in the middle of the night?

Forget everything you know about sleep.  Doing so just might help you get a full night’s rest.

Let’s start with the notion that human beings need 8 hours of continuous sleep.  We probably don’t.  But thinking that we do can easily trigger sleep anxiety, which on its own can cause a person nightmares.  

Blame Thomas Edison, if you must (or, perhaps, the city of Paris which in 1667 became the first city in the world to light its streets).  Prior to the advent of the light bulb, and the Industrial Revolution, human beings were known to sleep in two segments, known as “first sleep” and “second sleep.”  That is, people would go to bed after sunset, wake up roughly four hours later (for an hour or two, or three), then return to bed for their “second sleep,” of another lengthy duration. 

Sleep psychologist Gregg Jacobs, as quoted in a BBC World Service report, maintains that “Waking up during the night is part of normal human physiology.”  And historian and author Roger Ekirch would quite agree.  The Virginia Tech professor spent over 15 years researching historical sleep patterns and revealed his findings on segmented sleep in a landmark paper, published in 2001 (four years later he authored a book titled “At Day’s Close: Night in Times Past”). 

Ekirch, quoted in the web site www.lifeslittlemysteries.com, said that sometime in the 18^th and 19^th century “language changed and references to segmented sleep fell away. . . . Now people call it insomnia.” By the 1920s, according to the BBC article, “the idea of a first and second sleep had receded entirely from our social consciousness.” The BBC article continued: “[Ekirch] attributes the initial shift to improvements in street lighting, domestic lighting and a surge in coffee houses – which were sometimes open all night. As the night became a place for legitimate activity and as that activity increased, the length of time people could dedicate to rest dwindled.”

The notion that segmented sleep is our natural state is backed by research undertaken 20 years ago by Thomas Wehr, a psychiatrist at the National Institute of Health. Explains an article at www.t-nation.com:

“Wehr did experiments where he kept humans away from artificial light of any kind. After a couple of weeks, they started to fall asleep early – right after the sun went down – and then wake up after midnight. They'd lie awake for an hour or so and then fall back asleep. . . . Deprived of light, the subjects resorted to historical norms, dividing up their sleep into two distinct periods. . . . Wehr also found that this period between the first sleep and the second sleep was the most relaxing time of the day, almost akin to some yogi-like meditation. He confirmed this observation biochemically as he found that subjects were pumping out large amounts of prolactin, the post-orgasm hormone, during this mid-sleep period.”

How much sleep do we need? Is 8 hours the right number?

Not only is the verdict out on this, but one study in particular – collating results from a million subjects – found that people who averaged between 6-7 hours a night ended up living longer than those who grabbed 8 hours (or more).  Given that the U.S., by and large, is a sleep-deprived nation, no one is advocating that people cut back on their sleep, but the notion that you’re getting less than eight a night might again be causing unnecessary sleep anxiety. 

And how about naps?  How effective are they? 

Wrote David Randall, in an article for the New York Times: “The idea that we should sleep in eight-hour chunks is relatively recent. The world’s population sleeps in various and surprising ways. Millions of Chinese workers continue to put their heads on their desks for a nap of an hour or so after lunch, for example, and daytime napping is common from India to Spain.”

Robert Stickgold, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, proposes that sleep — including short naps that include deep sleep — offers our brains the chance to decide what new information to keep and what to toss. Said Stickgold, in an NRP-led roundtable discussion on sleep:

“. . . [W]e've done some studies looking at naps in terms of the memory processing and have been rather stunned, really, by the fact that in almost every experiment that we've tried, an hour-and-a-half nap seems to do as much good for memory processing as an entire night of sleep, and we continue to ponder that and sort of conclude that OK, we just don't get it yet. But in studies where six hours of sleep at night seems not enough to lead to consolidation of memory of a particular task, an-hour-and-a-half nap will. So there's something, at least from the memory perspective, rather magical and unusually efficient about napping as opposed to nocturnal sleep.”

David Dinges, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine undertook a series of studies on the effectiveness of naps, giving volunteers a series of tests on memory, alertness, response time, and other cognitive skills (they also measured biological systems, such as core body temperature and hormone levels). No surprise, Dinges found that longer naps were better, but some cognitive functions benefited more from napping than others.  Said Dinges, as quoted in a NASA article: "To our amazement, working memory performance benefited from the naps, [but] vigilance and basic alertness did not benefit very much," Dinges continued: "Working memory . . . involves focusing attention on one task while holding other tasks in memory ... and is a fundamental ability critical to performing complex work [like piloting a spaceship]. A poor working memory could result in errors."

Concluded Randall, author of Dreamland: Adventures in the Strange Science of Sleep: “Strategic napping . . . could benefit us all. No one argues that sleep is not essential. But freeing ourselves from needlessly rigid and quite possibly outdated ideas about what constitutes a good night’s sleep might help put many of us to rest, in a healthy and productive, if not eight-hour long, block.”

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Where are you from? (not such a simple question)

Where are you from? (not such a simple question)

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new sights, but in looking with new eyes.” – Marcel Proust

Give it a try. The next time you walk into Subway on Daniel Island, ask my good friend David where he’s from.  You’ll certainly enjoy his answer, a simple: “Planet Earth.”

Our planet has seen the birth of more than 110 billion people – 7 billion of whom now roam the earth.  I often refer to these 7 billion as “fellow travelers,” given that we travel together through space – same vehicle, same direction, same course. And, by and large, we do the same things – look after our families, look after each other, explore, create, connect.

Nonetheless, we consistently draw lines that separate us from one another – through religion, race, nationality, economics or politics.

Four years ago, NPR host Michele Norris created The Race Card Project “to solicit people’s frank, unfiltered thoughts on race,” according to an article in The Atlantic. Since then, the article explained, “she has received tens of thousands of responses, from people in 63 countries” and one of the most common submissions, Norris explains, “is some formulation of ‘So, where are you really from?’ Adds Norris, as quoted in the Atlantic: “To a lot of people that hits their ear the wrong way. It feels like someone is trying to point out their otherness: ‘You’re quite obviously not American, so where are you from?’”

I must admit, when I hear someone with an accent (whether I’m hopping a cab to the airport or ordering a drink at a corner café), I frequently ask: “Where are you from?” I hope that I’m not offending anyone, and I’m asking out of genuine interest in their story, their background, their life. I view the question as a simple social rejoinder, a way to connect with a fellow traveler.  But for many, I now realize, particularly Americans who (forgive the phrase) don’t “look” American, it’s often not a happy question.

Listen to Teresa Volcheck of Des Moines, Iowa, who shared her thoughts with The Race Card Project: 

“I am a Korean adoptee, raised in central Nebraska. I do not have an accent. I had a Swedish last name growing up and now have a Czech last name. I often get asked, where are you from? I say, ‘Nebraska.’ Then I get, “Really, where are you from?’ I have never self-identified as Korean-American and find it puzzling that people need to know this information. I do not know my biological family. I have a Korean adopted brother and growing up, we were often asked if we were REAL brother and sister (we are not biologically related). Is ‘real’ and ‘biological’ the same? Isn’t family more than just blood relations?”

Or listen to cartoonist Vishavjit Singh:

" ‘Where are you from?’ This is one of the most common questions hurled my way in public. My quick response is: from right here in the U.S. For many this is not a satisfying response, so they prod further. But where are you from really? Okay, I am from all over. Born in Washington, DC, I spent my childhood in India, went to college and graduate school in California, then moved to the East Coast. So you are from India? No, my parents are, but I am American.

“That’s the end of this discourse in just about all instances. The innate urge on the part of many of my fellow Americans to somehow place me firmly in the ‘foreign’ category is amusing and frustrating at the same time. There is no such thing as an American ‘look’, yet the juxtaposition of beard and turban in our contemporary times seems to mark me as the ultimate ‘other’.

“I am a cartoonist, a writer, a costume player, a software engineer, married, turbaned, bearded, American, Sikh -- just to name a few. While all of these identifications are true, they don’t contain the essence of who I am.”

The Great Floating Tribe

In a stirring TED talk, global author Pico Iyer talks about the “great floating tribe,” noting that “the number of people living in countries not their own now comes to 220 million, and that’s an almost unimaginable number.” The “age of movement,” Iyer points out, allows us to now “choose our sense of home, create our sense of community, fashion our sense of self, and in so doing maybe step a little beyond some of the black and white divisions of our grandparents' age. No coincidence that the president of the strongest nation on Earth is half-Kenyan, partly raised in Indonesia, has a Chinese-Canadian brother-in-law.”

Adds Iyer:

“I think the age of movement brings exhilarating new possibilities. Certainly when I'm traveling, especially to the major cities of the world, the typical person I meet today will be, let's say, a half-Korean, half-German young woman living in Paris. And as soon as she meets a half-Thai, half-Canadian young guy from Edinburgh, she recognizes him as kin. She realizes that she probably has much more in common with him than with anybody entirely of Korea or entirely of Germany. So they become friends. They fall in love. They move to New York City. Or Edinburgh.

“And the little girl who arises out of their union will of course be not Korean or German or French or Thai or Scotch or Canadian or even American, but a wonderful and constantly evolving mix of all those places. And potentially, everything about the way that young woman dreams about the world, writes about the world, thinks about the world, could be something different, because it comes out of this almost unprecedented blend of cultures.”

So the next time you ask a fellow traveler “Where are you from?,” be mindful. The question holds great power – to connect, or divide.  It all depends on our intent. 

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Boredom: Is it unhealthy? Is it curable?

Boredom: Is it unhealthy? Is it curable?

Boredom, as a subject of study, may appear to be a frivolous pursuit, but researchers believe that understanding the roots of this everyday emotion – why it exists, and how it can be cured – may provide untold benefits.

The most dramatic gains might be seen in public safety (think: airline pilots), or helping those with ADD and depression (depression and boredom have often been linked). But the field of study may help each of us escape the grip, and avoid some of life’s major missteps (think: alcohol, drugs, gambling, infidelity). 

Is boredom unhealthy?  Not according to Dr. John Eastwood, a clinical psychologist at York University in Toronto who was the lead author of a major study on boredom called “The Unengaged Mind.” According to an article written by Linda Rodriguez McRobbie for smithsonianmag.com, boredom can serve as “a kind of early warning system.”  The article quotes Eastwood: “Emotions are there to help us react to, register and regulate our response to stimulus from our environment. . . . We don’t usually take it as a warning – but children do, they badger you to get you out of the situation.”

Can boredom boost your creativity? In an article written for guardian.co.uk, Ann Robinson tells us that “The artist Grayson Perry has reportedly spoken of how long periods of boredom in childhood may have enhanced his creativity.” Robinson then quotes Dr. Esther Priyadharshini, a senior lecturer in education at the University of East Anglia: “We can't avoid boredom – it's an inevitable human emotion. We have to accept it as legitimate and find ways it can be harnessed. We all need downtime, away from the constant bombardment of stimulation. There's no need to be in a frenzy of activity at all times. . . . We all need vacant time to mull things over.”

The study of boredom dates back to just the 1930s, and since that time more than 100 studies have touched on the subject, leading Eastwood and colleagues Alexandra Frischen, Mark Fenske and Daniel Smilek to amass this body of research and develop the first unified theory on boredom.  Said Timothy Wilson, a social psychologist at the University of Virginia, as quoted in Maria Konnikova’s Boston Globe article: “Boredom is a neglected topic in psychology. . . . There is a lot of research on attention and mind wandering, but [until now], no attempt to bring it together under the topic of boredom per se.”

Is boredom a cousin to disgust?

Why does boredom exist?  McRobbie, writing for smithsonianmag.com, sheds some light: “There has to be a reason for boredom and why people suffer it; one theory is that boredom is the evolutionary cousin to disgust. In Toohey’s Boredom: A Living History, the author notes that when writers as far back as Seneca talk about boredom, they often describe it was a kind of nausea or sickness. The title of Jean-Paul Sartre’s novel about existential boredom was, after all, Nausea. Even now, if someone is bored of something, they’re ‘sick of it’ or ‘fed up’. So if disgust is a mechanism by which humans avoid harmful things, then boredom is an evolutionary response to harmful social situations or even their own descent into depression.”

Feeling bored? Eastwood first tells us what not to do.  Robinson, in her piece for guardian.co.uk, quotes Eastwood: "The problem is we've become passive recipients of stimulation. . . . We say, 'I'm bored, so I'll put on the TV or go to a loud movie.' But boredom is like quicksand: the more we thrash around, the quicker we'll sink."

What’s a person to do?   Researchers suggest that the next time you’re bored, begin by acknowledging the emotion, then become more aware of the feeling and its link to attention.  Eastwood maintains that we should resist the temptation to immediately resolve the feeling. Watch the mind. Take stock of both of your external environment (your immediate surroundings) and your internal environment (your thoughts at the time).  The more aware you are of both, they explain, the more quickly the boredom will pass.

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Follow Your Passion: Is it still good advice?

Follow Your Passion: Is it still good advice?

Probably not.

The message has been circulating for nearly 40 years, that if you simply “follow your passion” you’ll be on a straight path to happiness, great joy, and a deep sense of fulfillment.  But the message may, inadvertently, be creating a good deal of misery. 

Let’s begin with actor Mike Rowe’s provocative take on this popular, and persistent, advice:

“Every time I watch The Oscars, I cringe when some famous movie star – trophy in hand – starts to deconstruct the secret to happiness. . . . ‘Don’t give up on your dreams kids, no matter what.’ ‘Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have what it takes.’ And of course, ‘Always follow your passion!’

“Today, we have millions looking for work, and millions of good jobs unfilled because people are simply not passionate about pursuing those particular opportunities. Do we really need Lady Gaga telling our kids that happiness and success can be theirs if only they follow their passion?

“There are many examples . . . of passionate people with big dreams who stayed the course, worked hard, overcame adversity, and changed the world through sheer pluck and determination. . . [and] we would surely be worse off without the likes of Bill Gates and Thomas Edison. . . . But from my perspective, I don't see a shortage of people who are willing to dream big. I see people struggling because their reach has exceeded their grasp.”

Passion, of course, is not a bad thing.  But the point that Rowe makes, and is echoed widely, is that if passion is our primary compass for navigating life, it can have severe and negative consequences. By contrast, authors assert, if you flip the equation – build expertise in a field, and your passion will follow – you might just derive more happiness from life.

Said Sebastian Klein, editor-in-chief of Blinkist:

“The theory that following your passion leads to success first surfaced in the '70s, and in the intervening decades it’s taken on the character of indisputable fact. The catch? Most people’s passions have little connection to work or education, meaning passionate skiers, dancers, and readers run into problems. In a culture that tells people to transform their passions into lucrative careers via will-driven alchemy, it’s no wonder so much of today’s workforce suffers from endless job swapping and professional discontent.”

Klein turns to advice from author Cal Newport, who offers three key career tips: (Newport is author of So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love):

1.      “Don’t do what you love, love what you do.”

2.      “Adopt a craftman’s mindset.”  Explains Klein: “People with the passion mindset ask ‘What do I really want?’ which breeds an obsession with whether or not a job is ‘right’ for them. They become minutely aware of everything they dislike about their work and their job satisfaction and happiness plummets. By contrast, the craftsman’s mindset acknowledges that no matter what field you’re in, success is always about quality. Once you’re focused on the quality of the work you’re doing now rather than whether or not it’s right for you, you won’t hesitate to do what is necessary to improve it.”

3.      Practice hard and get out of your comfort zone.  Adds Klein: “So how do you become the craftsman? You practice. . . [A]lthough deliberate practice is often strenuous and uncomfortable, it’s the only path to true mastery. “

Author Henri Junttila states it another way: “The core problem is waiting for something to happen. It’s believing that you can’t be passionate and happy right now.”  Junttila adds:

“If finding your passion is making you miserable, the solution is to stop waiting. Stop believing in the lie you tell yourself that if only you could have this or that, everything would be fine. . . . Following your passion has the power to change your life, but it can also make you miserable if you make it into another thing you have to achieve before you can be happy.”

Writer April Dykman, in a piece for getrichslowly.org, quotes author Ramit Sethi who teaches a course on how to find your dream job.  Dykman quotes Sethi: “We assume that we really know what our passions are upfront . . . [But] can you tell just by thinking about it? The way it really works is that you have to get good at something, then you become passionate about it.”

Sethi continues, as quoted by Dykman:

“When I studied people who love what they do for a living, I found that in most cases their passion developed slowly, often over unexpected and complicated paths. It’s rare, for example, to find someone who loves their career before they’ve become very good at it — expertise generates many different engaging traits, such as respect, impact, autonomy — and the process of becoming good can be frustrating and take years.”

Dykman highlights the second flaw: that it may not be realistic, economically, to follow one’s passion. Again quoting Sethi:

“We don’t consider the barriers. . . . Like what if your passion won’t pay? Or what if you don’t actually want to turn your hobby or passion into a full-time career? Or what if your passion leads you down a road that means you’ll actually make less of an impact?”

So, what’s our new-age advice?  Rowe might have the answer:

“Don’t follow your passion, but always bring it with you.”

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Do you have (m)any regrets?

Do you have (m)any regrets?

It’s no surprise.  People on their deathbed were asked to share regrets, and of course they had a few.

But I wonder.  I wonder if these deathbed regrets (I’ve compiled over 100) accurately reflect a sustained lifetime of regret, or simply capture a moment.  In other words, might people close to death share thoughts that don’t necessarily reflect their experiences over a lifetime?

Perhaps.

Wonder aside, research reveals that regrets – if reflected upon – hold the power to reshape our lives, to alter, in some small way, the choices that we make today, and tomorrow. Consider the classic refrain:

“Nobody’s last words were ever ‘I should have spent more time in the office.’ ”

When we hear regrets such as these, it leads us to pause, to re-evaluate.  To that end, I’ve compiled a list of popular regrets, grouped into seven categories for easy viewing.

Which ones have meaning for you?

Relationships

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not saying “I love you” more often;

·         Not building new relationships;

·         Holding grudges;

·         Not spending more time with the kids; and

·         Staying in a relationship for too long.

Skills

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not earning a college degree;

·         Not trusting their intuition;

·         Not standing up for themselves, both in school and in life;

·         Not taking a big risk;

·         Not learning a second language;

·         Not pursuing a career in the arts; and

·         Not performing in front of others.

Experiencing Life

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not spending enough time smelling the roses (that is, appreciating the moment);

·         Not volunteering more;

·         Not spending more time listening to their favorite musicians; and

·         Not traveling more.

Career

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not pursuing that dream job;

·         Sticking too long in the same job;

·         Not saving more money; and

·         Not working harder early in their career.

Health

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not wearing sunscreen on a regular basis;

·         Neglecting their teeth; and

·         Not exercising more.

Mental health

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not accepting themselves more, not realizing how beautiful they are, not letting themselves be happy;

·         Not having more courage to express their feelings;

·         Caring too much about what other people think;

·         Being afraid to do new things; and

·         Worrying too much.

One regret I'm happy to share: not writing this column earlier.

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