Is venting good for you?

Is venting good for you?

When we’re frustrated or angry, we all vent.  But is it good for us? 

The notion is familiar enough: when anger starts to build, it’s best to let off a little steam; otherwise, if we let it build, our system might overload, and burst. It’s called the hydraulic model of anger and was popularized by Dr. Sigmund Freud (though it dates to the Greeks). Explains Dr. Tammy Lenski, who specializes in conflict resolution:

“[Freud] believed that, much like hydraulic pressure building up in a closed environment, anger builds up inside people. Unless released via some kind of emotional catharsis, explosion would be the ultimate outcome.”

By and large, psychologist agree that, if done in the right manner, blowing off some steam can be cathartic. But they caution that we shouldn’t overdo it.  Venting, they say, can be a fly-trap, preventing us from taking needed action.

According to an article at www.youarenotsosmart.com: “Catharsis will make you feel good, but it’s also an emotional hamster wheel. The emotion which led you to catharsis will still be there afterward, and if it made you feel good, you’ll seek it out again in the future.”

Said psychologist Leon Seltzer, in a recent Psychology Today article on the virtues and vices of venting:

“Generally, it’s better to let things out than hold them in. And doing so feels almost akin to problem-solving – in the moment, at least. Venting your frustrations alleviates tension and stress. You almost feel better – and ‘lighter’ – after sharing some perceived threat, indignity, misfortune or injustice.

“Yet ventilating, when it’s confined to repetitively self-vindicating messages, can also be self-limiting. . . it can become little more than an excuse for not acting to resolve a problem or confront an issue that requires confrontation.”

Benefits/Drawbacks of Venting

What are some benefits of venting? According to Seltzer, it releases frustration, can restore your equilibrium and might lead to new ideas (suggested by your friend). Plus, of course, taking immediate action (e.g., confronting the boss that you can’t stand) might not be the wisest course of action.

A piece at wisegeek.net adds: “Anger can sometimes be a catalyst that moves a person to positive action.” And Lene Lynn, writing for hubpages.com, points out: “. . . all manner of health professionals say that releasing the rage is way more beneficial to the body than keeping it inside and creating a ‘stack attack’”, that is, allowing issue after issue to build up inside of us. 

But venting has its drawbacks.  Maintains Lenski: “The value of venting is a myth. The theory on which the idea of venting anger is based has been repeatedly disproven since the 1950s. While it may feel cathartic, venting anger doesn’t purge aggression from your system or improve psychological state.”

Lenski cites research which demonstrates that rumination (the act of focusing on your angry feelings) has been shown to increase angry feelings and increase displaced aggression. And she adds that using substitute targets (e.g., punching a pillow, pounding a nail) “don’t reduce arousal.” Further, Lenski says, “if the act of venting becomes repeated, it risks becoming a habit.”

Seltzer adds a host of negatives: venting can damage or destroy relationships, can actually increase your level of distress, can delay needed action, and allows people to deny personal responsibility. Plus, as Lenski noted, the more you do it, the better you get at it – and the more likely you will be to use it.

What then, are we to do when emotions build?

The key, of course, is knowing when to vent, and when to act. And, certainly, learning a few new techniques, for releasing our emotions, won’t hurt. Here then are a few tips to consider:

·         Cooling off: “Take your anger off the stove. Let it go from a boil to a simmer to a lukewarm state where you no longer want to sink your teeth into the side of buffalo.” (from www.youarenotsosmart.com)

·         Taking action: “. . . cooling off is not the same thing as not dealing with your anger at all.  [Psychologist Brad] Bushman suggests you delay your response, relax or distract yourself with an activity totally incompatible with aggression.” (from www.youarenotsosmart.com)

·         Journal entries – if you’re angry at another person, life coach Lene Lynn says to try this three-step approach: 1. Write down what you’re feeling; 2. Write from the other person’s perspective (e.g., how you think they might resolve the problem); and 3. How you think a third person (totally objective party) might view the situation.

It’s always a good time, it seems, to rein-vent yourself.

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