Maggie Baker thinks so, and Baker is something of an
expert when it comes to our relationship with money. Baker, a psychologist and author of the book
“Crazy About Money,” explains: “We all have a relationship to money just as we
have a relationship to food.”
What’s your
relationship? If you were sitting down
with Baker, she would probably ask you: “What does money mean to you? Does it rule you, or do you rule it? How much
of it do you want and what current habits help you achieve that?”
Enter the world of financial therapy, an up and coming
field that now boasts hundreds of “financial therapists,” or financial psychologists. There’s even a Financial Therapy Association,
formed four years ago to help individuals and families cope with economic
challenges (on their web site, FTA posts a list of recent financial therapy
articles, including: “What’s Mine is Mine: 10 couples on how they arrange
their finances,” “7 Financial Issues Couples May Stumble Over” and “Find Out What Your Money Personality Is."
Americans aren’t feeling particularly confident about
their finances these days, with 76% of Americans naming money as their No. 1
source of stress, according to an American Psychological Foundation study. And a separate study by TD Ameritrade and
LearnVest, reported in the Omaha World-Herald, found the following:
·
43% of couples don't have a budget. The average
couple discusses money less than two times a month and fights over money five
times a year;
·
40% of respondents said they do not completely
trust their partner to manage their combined finances; and
·
20% said they sometimes hide their spending from
their significant other.
What’s your attitude toward money? An article at freefrombroke.com lists these
four “money attitudes” that they say will lead to financial failure: “1. I’ll
start saving when I make more money;” 2. “Consumer debt is OK because it’s
normal;” 3. “I have plenty of time to get my finances in order;” and 4. “Stuff
= money.” On this last point, the article adds: “While it’s sometimes pleasant
to have nice things, don’t make the mistake of thinking that it’s the same as
having actual financial resources available to you.”
Financial psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz, a father-son
team who co-authored "Mind Over Money,” describe the 12 most common “money
disorders” and explain how to identify them and ultimately overcome them
(disorders include: financial dependence, underspending, financial infidelity,
money avoidance, financial rejection, compulsive shopping and financial
enabling).
In a piece by Michelle Crouch, for creditcards.com, Brad
Klontz pointed out: "People feel more shame around money than they do
around sexual problems. . . . People are ashamed they have too much money or
ashamed because they have too little. They think their problems with money are
because they're lazy or stupid, so they don't look for help. They stick their
heads in the sand."
Interestingly, Klontz explains, many people experience a
“financial flash point” in their life, that is, according to Crouch: “An
experience early in life that leaves a lasting impression about how money
works.” Crouch goes on: “One of Klontz's clients, for example, had a
grandmother who gave $20,000 at the last minute to save the client's family
home from foreclosure. The lesson she took from the experience? No matter how
bad her financial troubles got, she believed someone would be there to rescue
her.” Crouch quotes Klontz again:
"The craziest money behaviors make a lot more sense when you figure out
what someone's financial flash points are.”
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