How do you describe yourself?

“We’re like onions, and we have layers.” – Shrek

How do you describe yourself?

Are you cautious or care-free? Decisive or indecisive? An introvert or extrovert?

Humans love to label, and labels fall easily from our lips. We label everything in our path – from habits and character traits to style, tempo and drive.

But why? What compels us to do this? Are we not, as human beings, dynamic creatures who are constantly evolving? If so, why stick a label on it?  Leading to this nagging question: do self-imposed labels serve us well?  Or do they limit our ability to change and grow?

In today’s high octane culture, enveloped by intense media scrutiny (of every one, and every thing!), it’s difficult not to classify (e.g., he’s lazy, she’s a math whiz, he’s so forgetful), not just others, but ourselves (I’m not a risk taker, I’m too shy).  But do they serve us well?

I vote no. I maintain that labels, by and large, inhibit our growth and impede our ability to make the most of our lives. They limit us. They restrict us. They make it more difficult for mid-course corrections.

Part of the problem, of course, is the binary nature of self-evaluation. It’s common to describe people – and ourselves – as introvert/extrovert, optimist/pessimist, Type A/Type B, Republican/ Democrat, high maintenance/low maintenance.  Why, pray tell, are there only two categories?

A search of the literature finds some breaks in the binary stranglehold (ambiverts are now a recognized category, and I recently discovered what it means to be a Type C and Type D personality). Even Myers-Briggs, which graciously offers us 16 categories, hinges on a binary framework – introversion/extroversion, sensing/intuition, thinking/feeling and judging/perceiving.

Aren’t humans a little more complex than that?

Which brings us to this brilliant piece written by a young woman who was asked, simply: “How do you classify yourself?” (her answer appeared on the website www.worldinconversation.org):

“I don’t like labels. In my opinion, people are people. Everyone has differences and everyone has similarities. As Shrek says, we’re like onions and we have layers. Why would anyone want to define himself or herself by just one of those layers? Labels have started wars, torn families apart, and caused heartache. I like to think that I’m made up of many things, and that just one thing doesn’t define me. However, for the sake of the prompt, these are what define me:

“I am a single white female. I am German and Hungarian. I am a sister, daughter, niece, granddaughter, great niece, and cousin. In the summer, I’m a child-care provider. The rest of the year, I’m a poor college kid. I’m a musician: I play trumpet, piano, and ukulele. I am a ballet, tap, and swing dancer. I’m a singer, an alto to be specific. I am a connoisseur of Lindor truffles, peach pie, Doritos, and raspberry smoothies. I am a lover of oldies’ music, high-heels, and vintage clothes. I’m an avid celebrity-rag reader. I’m a Jack Benny Program listener. I’m a collector of Smokey Bear paraphernalia, post-cards, Broadway show pins, and Snapple caps. I am a member of the Pennsylvania State Marching Blue band and the a capella group, Blue in the FACE. I am a world explorer.

“I am imperfect. I’m a crybaby. I am a complainer. I am a devil’s advocate. I’m a prep. I am indecisive. I’m a ‘goody-two-shoes.’ I’m a band geek. I’m a Harry Potter junkie. I am enthusiastic and loud when it’s not socially acceptable. I’m a lover of horribly written Meg Cabot novels like The Princess Diaries series. I’m a nervous giggler in inappropriate situations. I’m a too-cautious driver (and it caused me to have my first accident not too long ago)! I’m a grudge-holder when someone hurts my sisters.

“I am both an introvert and an extrovert given the right setting. I am a procrastinator and an over-achiever. I am a winter-lover and summer-baby. I love old people and toddlers. I love kids, but I don’t want kids. I both love and hate Walmart, but mostly hate. I’m am both an individualist and conformist.

“I am a left-wing bleeding-heart liberal. I’m a citizen of the world. I’m an advocate for the ONE Campaign, the campaign to make poverty history. I am pro-choice and anti-guns. I am a believer in the good in people. I am a Lutheran who believes in karma. I’m a registered democrat who has not missed an election yet. I am a strong-willed democrat. I am a fan of the Golden Rule. I’m a dreamer, pacifist, optimist. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I am nothing less than all of this. I am me.”

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At what age will your mental abilities peak?

At what age will your mental abilities peak?

Well, it’s not 24. 

The notion has persisted for generations – that the human brain’s cognitive abilities peak in the early 20s and then begin a slow march downhill. 

Look around. Think about musicians, salesmen, actors, lawyers, engineers, painters, directors, sculptors, psychologists and novelists. When do their skills peak? To what degree does experience factor into the equation?

A new study out of New England – focused exclusively on cognitive abilities – stands ready to up-end the long-held notions that young is, by definition, better. Study authors Joshua Hartshorne and Laura Germine found that, when it comes to thinking, there’s no magic age.  In fact, some skills (e.g., vocabulary recognition) don’t peak in humans until age 65 or 70.

Here’s a quick-look summary of their findings, drawn from nearly 50,000 online participants (note: Hartshorne is with MIT, Germine is a research associate in Harvard’s Psychology Dept. and a postdoctoral fellow at Harvard-affiliated MGH):

·        Ability to recognize and remember faces – this ability peaks between ages 30 and 34;

·        Mental processing speed – as one might expect, this skill peaks around age 18 or 19;

·        Social cognition (the ability to detect other people’s emotions) – peaks in the 40s to age 50, with no notable decline until after age 60; 

·        Short-term memory – peaks around age 25, levels off for several years, then begins to drop at age 35;

·        Crystalized intelligence (measured as vocabulary skills) rises as one ages, not peaking until about age 65 to 70.

Randy Dotinga, journalist and President of the American Society of Journalists and Authors, identified some weaknesses in the study. Writing for healthday.com, Dotinga noted that it’s not a longitudinal study but instead is based on a single point in time. Dotinga also pointed out that the study only included people who are Internet-savvy (although, the author acknowledges, the researchers did analyze statistics from studies that were not online). 

Nonetheless, the fundamental message is unassailable: human brains are not simple machines which, as they age, begin to deteriorate. Instead, brain plasticity is at work, throughout the life span. Noted a study summary at www.psychologicalscience.org: “It’s not yet clear why these skills tend to peak at different ages, but previous research suggests that it may have to do with changes in gene expression or brain structure as we age.”

When does creativity peak?

Dean Simonton, psychologist and UC Davis professor, has studied the phenomenon of creativity for nearly 40 years, and he explains that “research has consistently found that creativity is a curvilinear (inverted backward) function of age – meaning that older individuals would not be creative. However, the empirical and theoretical literature shows that such a pessimistic conclusion is unjustified. Numerous factors operate that help maintain creative output throughout the life span. Indeed, it is actually possible for creators to display a qualitative and quantitative resurgence of creativity in their final years.” Simonton goes on to note that a range of professions – among them poets and painters – have their most productive and prolific years well past what we commonly call “middle age.”

So, when will your mental abilities peak? Well, it’s certainly not 24. 

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When you praise someone (or yourself), are you doing it right?

When you praise someone (or yourself), are you doing it right?

Let’s start with some key research findings on the delicate art of praise:

·        Overly positive praise can backfire, leading children (particularly those with low self-esteem) to back away from future challenges;

·        Given the choice, use process praise (“You did a wonderful job”) instead of person praise (“You’re so smart”).  And here’s why, according to an article written by the Society for Research in Child Development (SRCD): “. . . [P]rocess praise sends the message that effort and actions are the sources of success, leading children to believe they can improve their performance through hard work. Person praise sends the opposite message—that the child’s ability is fixed.”

·        When praising a child, it’s important to avoid the word “incredible”;

·        Parents deliver more process praise to boys than girls; and

·        Inappropriate self-praise can have negative effects.

In study after study, the overriding message is clear: honest, realistic praise (whether given to others, or oneself) is desirable.  So choose your words, and your internal thoughts, carefully. 

Process Praise vs. Person Praise

What’s the difference?  Said SCRD, in their article posted at www.psypost.org: “. . . [W]hen parents praise the effort children make, it leads children to be more persistent and perform better on challenging tasks, while person praise (praising the individual) leads children to be less persistent and perform worse on such tasks.”

In one longitudinal study, led by Assistant Professor of Psychology Elizabeth Gunderson (then with the University of Chicago), researchers examined the relationship between praise and challenge-seeking, in toddlers ages one to three years old.  They found that children who were praised for their effort (as opposed to praised as individuals) had a more positive approach to challenges just five years later. Said Gunderson, quoted in a psypost.org article: “This study suggests that improving the quality of parents’ praise in the toddler years may help children develop the belief that people can change and that challenging tasks provide opportunities to learn.”

Avoid Inflated Praise (and the word “incredible”)

What constitutes inflated praise?  Often it’s the word “incredible” (e.g., Inflated praise: “You made an incredibly beautiful drawing!” Non-inflated praise: “You made a beautiful drawing!”).

Said Utretcht University psychologist Eddie Brummelman, as quoted in an article at www.psychologicalscience.org: “Inflated praise, although well-intended, may cause children with low self-esteem to avoid crucial learning experiences.”  The article continued: “Specifically, the researchers write, rave reviews for a mundane accomplishment can convey an unintended message: Now that you’ve excelled, we’re going to hold you to a very high standard. Since youngsters with low self-esteem are driven by a desire to avoid failure, this can prompt them to avoid challenges.”

Girls vs. Boys

Gunderson’s longitudinal study (cited earlier) found that boys and girls receive the same amount of praise overall, but that boys receive “significantly” more process praise than girls. Not surprisingly, said the researchers, “boys were more likely to have positive attitudes about academic challenges than girls and to believe that intelligence could be improved,” according to the SRCD article. The article quoted Gunderson, who said: “These results are cause for concern because they suggest that parents may be inadvertently creating the mindset among girls that traits are fixed, leading to decreased motivation and persistence in the face of challenges and setbacks.”

Praising Yourself

Research led by Young-Hoon Kim, PhD, of the University of Pennsylvania, found that it’s important for adults to accurately assess their performance, and that falsely boosting their self-esteem can have unintended negative consequences.

According to a press release from the American Psychological Association: “People who try to boost their self-esteem by telling themselves they’ve done a great job, when they haven’t, could end up feeling dejected instead.” Said lead author Kim, as quoted in the APA release: “These findings challenge the popular notion that self-enhancement and providing positive performance feedback to low performers is beneficial to emotional health. Instead, our results underscore the emotional benefits of accurate self-assessments and performance feedback.”

Added co-author Chi-Yue Chiu, of Nanyang Technological University in Singapore: “Distress following excessive self-praise is likely to occur when a person's inadequacy is exposed, and because inaccurate self-assessments can prevent self-improvement.” The study involved young people from both the U.S. and Hong Kong.

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