Do you have (m)any regrets?

Do you have (m)any regrets?

It’s no surprise.  People on their deathbed were asked to share regrets, and of course they had a few.

But I wonder.  I wonder if these deathbed regrets (I’ve compiled over 100) accurately reflect a sustained lifetime of regret, or simply capture a moment.  In other words, might people close to death share thoughts that don’t necessarily reflect their experiences over a lifetime?

Perhaps.

Wonder aside, research reveals that regrets – if reflected upon – hold the power to reshape our lives, to alter, in some small way, the choices that we make today, and tomorrow. Consider the classic refrain:

“Nobody’s last words were ever ‘I should have spent more time in the office.’ ”

When we hear regrets such as these, it leads us to pause, to re-evaluate.  To that end, I’ve compiled a list of popular regrets, grouped into seven categories for easy viewing.

Which ones have meaning for you?

Relationships

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not saying “I love you” more often;

·         Not building new relationships;

·         Holding grudges;

·         Not spending more time with the kids; and

·         Staying in a relationship for too long.

Skills

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not earning a college degree;

·         Not trusting their intuition;

·         Not standing up for themselves, both in school and in life;

·         Not taking a big risk;

·         Not learning a second language;

·         Not pursuing a career in the arts; and

·         Not performing in front of others.

Experiencing Life

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not spending enough time smelling the roses (that is, appreciating the moment);

·         Not volunteering more;

·         Not spending more time listening to their favorite musicians; and

·         Not traveling more.

Career

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not pursuing that dream job;

·         Sticking too long in the same job;

·         Not saving more money; and

·         Not working harder early in their career.

Health

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not wearing sunscreen on a regular basis;

·         Neglecting their teeth; and

·         Not exercising more.

Mental health

People say that they regret . . .

·         Not accepting themselves more, not realizing how beautiful they are, not letting themselves be happy;

·         Not having more courage to express their feelings;

·         Caring too much about what other people think;

·         Being afraid to do new things; and

·         Worrying too much.

One regret I'm happy to share: not writing this column earlier.

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